Category Archives: Life Lessons

Tell Loved Ones How You Feel

Life is short. Don’t let it sneak up on you and and you be regretting that you didn’t tell a loved one how you felt about them.  After they have died, or when you are on your own death bed, it is too late then to let your family know how you feel or felt about them.

There are many people that are too shy and/or feel silly telling a loved one how they feel. When they are confronted, they usually say, “I don’t have to tell them, they know by how I treat them.” This may be true, but people are human and therefore like being told, every once in a while at least, that they are loved and appreciated.

Many times the silence is because of an argument or disagreement. The individual loved ones are so angry with each other, they don’t even want to see each other, let alone tell the other one they are loved.  Many a family has been split apart by just such an argument or perceived injustice.  After all, the last thing you want to say or hear from someone is that you are loved  right after you were told where to go and how to get there.

It’s normal to have disagreements and to argue about things. Some arguments start over the smallest little thing and end up just short of a family feud, with everybody taking sides and continuing to call each other names and telling each other just where to go. The worst part is that it may have started because someone had a bad day at work, at school, or even at home. I have even heard of instances where one of the people got so upset and angry with the other one that they killed the other one. When the survivor came to their senses, they felt so guilty and full of remorse that they took their own life. Granted, this was taking it to the maximum extreme, but never the less it has happened, in real life, and not just on TV.

I try to live by my own advice, and to be a good example. I fail a lot, but then I succeed a lot too. There are some people in my family that tell me that I tell others, both family members and friends, that I love them too often. I am told that I don’t have to say it every time I see the other person, or text the other person, call the other person, or make a comment on their Facebook. I disagree. I have a lot of medical problems, as many, if not most, of my long time readers know. I was told many years ago that I would be dead by the time I was 59.  Well, I am now in my mid sixties and still kicking, but I know that I am on borrowed time. That being the case, each time I have contact with a family member or friend, It could be my last, so I let them know that I love them.

Now I know that there are going to be many readers that will say, “Nobody knows when their last day is going to be, they could die of a heart attack, or be in an accident and get killed. This is very true. But it stands to reason that a person with numerous medical problems has a much greater chance of dying than someone that is, as the saying goes, “healthy as an ox”.

Don’t take me wrong, I know that arguments are going to happen. No two people can live together, or be close friends for that matter, without having the occasional misunderstanding, disagreement, argument, or whatever you want to call it. I am just trying to impress on you how important it is to let your loved ones know just how you feel.

All I am asking is that you stop and think about some of your past arguments with family or friends. Is it really worth it to carry the hurt for years and never have anymore good times together? I don’t think so. But here we all have to give in some. No one person is always right, and by the same token, no one person is always wrong either. We all need to try to have that “unconditional love” for each other.

If you have had an argument with a family member or a friend, be the bigger person and be the first to apologize. Even if the other person doesn’t accept your apology, give it anyway. At least you will know that you tried.

The definition of “unconditional love” is;

Unconditional love is known as affection without any limitations or love without conditions. This term is sometimes associated with other terms such as true altruism or complete love. … It is a concept comparable to true love, a term which is more frequently used to describe love between lovers.


Try To Stay Positive And Upbeat

In any circumstance, try to stay positive and upbeat. This can be accomplished in various ways.

Some words have a positive connotation, some have a negative connotation, and some have a neutral connotation. The definition of a connotative word is;

When you look up a word in the dictionary, you will find its literal (denotative) meaning. However, the emotions and associations connected to a word is known as its connotative meaning. Depending on our experiences, certain words have a positive, negative, or neutral connotation.

Examples of Connotative Words

One way is by trying not to use negative words or statements with negative connotations in them or to them. The definition below is of a negative connotation, however, it also has a link for the difference between negative and positive connotation.

Negative connotation is when the word implies something negative or is informal. For example, the word chick is not only informal, but sometimes implies negativity to other girls. Now, we need to know what Positive Connotation is. Positive Connotation implies Positivity or.Jan 7, 2013

The Difference Between Negative Connotation and Positive … – Prezi…/the-difference-between-negative-connotation-and-positive-connotati…
I felt that it was necessary to look up the definition of negative and positive connotation, that way there is a reference to fall back on in case there is some confusion about it.
When I became a teenager, my Mother told me to always try to make anybody I had any contact with feel better by having had an encounter with me. I guess it was her way of saying to “brighten the corner where you are”. That was a very hard thing for me to do, as I was sad most of my growing up years. I was backwards and didn’t really have very good interaction skills with other people. That happens when you are being abused a lot.
My life sort of turned around when I got married and moved to another state. However, after my first husband left me for a truck stop waitress, my world started to crumble.
I met someone else at church and we got married soon after that. My life was beautiful. I looked forward to coming home everyday to be with my husband. but that too changed just two years after we were married. He lost his job and had to go to another town to get work. Then he started back to school to get his engineering degree. Somewhere along the line he changed his major to psychology. It was then that my past came flooding back. Long story short, he left and moved to another state to continue his education and get his degree is psychology.
I poured myself into my work at my full time job and also got a part-time job. Things were going good for me until I became disabled. While I was visiting my family back home in March of 1990, I came down with asthma, bronchitis, and mico-plasm pneumonia (the worst kind for scaring your lungs). I had to stay an extra two weeks because the doctors would not let me fly back to my own home. Once I got back to my own home, I was being rushed to the hospital every 7 to 10 days with asthma attacks so bad that I couldn’t breathe. You can’t keep a job when you are having to be rushed to the hospital so much. On June 9, 1990, I lost both my full time job that I had had for 16 years, and my part time job that I had had for 5 years. The next year I had to file for bankruptcy.
I was put on numerous medications to control all of my symptoms and new diseases. one of the medications that the doctors put me on for the inflammation in my lungs was Prednisone. After I went on that one, I gained 100 pounds in 6 months. It took the doctors 3 years to come up with the perfect combination of medications to control my condition. In the meantime I had had to start using oxygen.
After three years of being sick, I was feeling well enough to start to school to train for another job. So at 41 years old, in May of 1993, I started going to Lexington Community College, pulling oxygen tanks behind me. The day before I started classes, I found out that I had become diabetic. Unknown to me, one of the really bad adverse side effects of Prednisone was that it could cause you to become diabetic. I was still having to be rushed to the hospital with asthma attacks, but no where near as often as before.
I was planning on being a Respiratory Therapist. Most of my classes were medical in nature that being the case. It came time to declare my major, and so I did. There were 300 students that tried to get into the program. I was number 3 to be accepted. Needless to say I was very happy. My happiness was to be short lived. In January, I ended up in a wheelchair. You can’t do Respiratory Care from a wheelchair. So in tears, I had to go tell them that I had to decide on a different major. The major I had to pick had to be one that could be done in a wheelchair. I chose computer programming.
Long story short, it took me 6 and 1/2 years to finish a 2 year program. With all of my medical problems and doctors appointments and therapy appointments, I was only able to attend half time. During the time I was there, I had to have 13 surgeries. But through it all, I persevered. I finished in December of 1999, with honors, and went through the graduation ceremonies in May of 2000. I had had to be rushed from work  to the hospital earlier in the day, but returned to work after being discharged from the ER. I told them at work that there was no way that I was going to miss my graduation ceremony. I attended my graduation ceremonies and ended up in a wall of smoke just outside the building as i was going to go home. The ambulance had to take me from my vehicle to the hospital for a second time that day. I was back at work the next day.
I had started working in March of 2000. It had taken me a little over 2 months, after finishing school, to find a job. The following is a picture of me at my desk at work:
As you can see I had to wear a face mask so I wouldn’t catch anything from anybody else. My immune system was so low due to all of my medical conditions and medications. I had wrist braces, a back brace, leg braces, and had to use a scooter to get around. But I still went to work. I had to get up at 4:30 every morning, to be able to do everything that I had to do to get ready to go to work, and be there by 7:00. i went to bed at 8:30 every night.
My time at work was marked with many medical issues as well. I had 11 surgeries while I was working. In November of 2004, I was getting ready to sit down at my desk, after returning from yet another surgery. My supervisor informed me not to sit down, and went on to tell me that I no longer worked there. She told me that they needed me to be there and not out having to have surgeries all the time.
 I have been on total disability ever since then. I still have to have surgeries and have many medical problems, but I try to find things to laugh at about my situation. Many people get upset with me for laughing at such serious issues. I just tell them that if I couldn’t laugh, I couldn’t make it with all the things that I have wrong with me. In other words, I try to stay upbeat as much as possible. granted, I don’t make it all the time, but I never stop trying.
I have made it for 17 years with an artificial bladder. Of the people had the same surgery as I did at the same time as I had mine, most of them died within the first three years. Only a handful made it for five years. I am the only person still surviving that had it back in 2000. I am waiting for the next surgery on my bladder as we speak. i have to get down to 200 pounds. At my current weight of 226.6 pounds, I have a 60% chance of surviving the surgery. At 200 pounds, my survival rate goes up to 80%. Granted 80% isn’t all that great, and i would much rather have a 95% chance of surviving, but 80% is better that 60% any day of the week.
What I am trying to point out with this whole big post is that you have to stay positive as much as possible. I know that it is not humanly possible to be positive all the time, but it is humanly possible to be positive at some time everyday!!!! PERIOD!!!